Where Have You Been
by Artificial Dreams
Summary: N/Touya? N's ambitions of separating human from Pokemon were not entirely based on watching them suffer... sometimes, seeing what could be and then see what really is can fuel those dreams more. May end up being a one-shot, may be multi-chapter.


Working towards a definite goal, never deviating or swaying from that single destination that awaited him in the future many of his followers sought out his presence merely to be inspired to be as steadfast and determined as he. To not blink in the face of obstacles, to know exactly what they wanted and to not waver before that goal. Taking long strides down the hallways that stretched and connected the entire castle, the steps filled with purpose and intent none of his grunts doubted the decision to crown him as king. He would lead them into a whole new world; of this they had no doubt. Was this a world they wanted? Was it one worth fighting for? Until they saw him, they had reservations and fears.

But he did not. And that was what they respected most. That dedication, those eyes filled with experiences they would never be able to call their own, and a body covered in the scars that etched into his skin every moment that would shape him into an adult. They did not envy the suffering he experienced, but they did envy the wisdom they assumed it all brought with it. Taking long strides down the hallways of the castle, the king let his thoughts meander to the memories behind him and the ones he would make in the future. And much to his own annoyance, the dream or memory or both that kept creeping into his thoughts, softly nudging aside numbers in favor of a small voice that was not his own but never left him.

A tiny voice that was warm and friendly and did not belong to his father or his "sisters." Anthea and Concordia, patient and kind, but neither of them owned the little boy's voice that visited him at night sometimes whispering that, "we'll always be friends." The only human voice to ever speak those words to him, the only human voice that had made him feel as though he was perfectly normal as he was – that he did not need to become something else or was merely a child to be pitied. A voice that sometimes dragged him all across Isshu in desperate attempts to find it again, guilt building in his chest when he should have been searching for pokemon abused and neglected. Yes, he always took care of them when he found them. Yes, pokemon and not the boy were the reason behind Team Plasma.

But the boy was the reason he felt a growing emptiness and hopelessness when with each city he visited, that soft voice offering eternal friendship did not turn up. A slow acceptance that the little boy's voice probably changed as much as N's had when he hit puberty. Possibly deeper now, and jaded as reality fell over them each. Perhaps it was for the best. What if that little boy grew up to be like all the other humans? Selfish, cruel, uncaring – and worst of all, no longer that friend he yearned to reunite with. An entirely different person, one he could not recognize and thus would never find again. Shaking his head, N tried to throw away those memories that he knew he had romanticized into dreams. There was no such thing as a little boy that was playing with purrloin when they first met. No such thing as the feline approaching N when he was younger, curious about the new human child that wandered into her territory.

There were no days spent playing hide n' seek, of rolling down hillsides laughing, or afternoons turning into evening with all three curled beneath a large oak tree that bore no fruit but plenty of shade. Of that brown-haired boy taking his hand and running him to his house, where a maternal woman (was she the boy's mother? Guardian? Neighbor?) offered them cool lemonade and the purrloin water. A few days where suffering didn't exist and there was only laughter mingling with innocence. There were other children, and one of those days N learned how to play London Bridge, freeze tag, a few hand games, and so many jump rope songs. _Five little mankeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head…_

That was his drive, his inspiration. A world like that could exist, where human and pokemon treated each other with respect, dignity, and love. The little boy had shown him as much. But years passed, and he saw how many people did not understand the concept of treating their pokemon humanely – in fact, he saw many instances in which people did not even treat their fellow man humanely. That world could exist, but how to bring it about?

So Ghetsis told him a bedtime story, one that fueled his drives and decisions. There were legendary dragons, one of lightning and ideals with the other of fires and truths. N could become a Hero who worked with them to reshape the world, free pokemon from humanity, and bring back the days of lemonade and laughter. Though no longer being able to find the boy left him feeling empty, his resolve remained. His friend was now little more than an idea, a fantasy that he would use to fuel his reality. Ghetsis made speeches across Isshu, recruiting new grunts, and rescuing pokemon. The world would be right again.

Reaching the front of the castle, N glanced to one of the grunts who bowed low before shuffling hurriedly to the drawbridge. Letting it down, the king casually left his castle and tried to reel his thoughts back to calculations. No variable could be left out; he had to attend the speech his father was going to make today. Ghetsis had told him that sometimes, all it took was one or two people brave enough to agree with him for the rest of the crowd to feel comfortable enough to agree as well. "People are afraid, N. Skittish. Some people hurt their pokemon solely to belong, not because they are necessarily bad people. That's why I need you out there. To lead not just Team Plasma, but the entire region down a path of righteousness. You can do that for your old man, can't you? For the pokemon?" How could he argue with that?

Lately, almost every speech he went to though, he found an angry young woman who seethed with anger every time she saw it. "That's not right! Pokemon aren't enslaved at all! It's narrow-minded people like you that let them suffer!" That was the gist of her angry outbursts. He battled her a few times; each battle revealing how much her team adored her, how much she adored them in return. She was a rare flavor of trainer, kinder to her pokemon than she was to people. In a way, N connected with her. Wanted her to be the other hero, the one destined to oppose her. She was so perfect for the role. They were like two dragons, only he was the fires of truth (he had seen it so many times over the years, soaked in blood and loneliness) and hers the lightning of ideals (it was so easy to delude her into believing there wasn't a problem).

Calling upon a friend of his to give him a ride (a mandibuzz he saved back when it was a vullaby), he flew towards Nuvema Town. He always tried to arrive before Team Plasma could, strictly to assess the people. Get an idea of whether they would try and run them out of town, or listen in absolute rapture. In short, calculate the risks of the venture there. Meanwhile, he knew Touko (the female trainer, his eventual Hero of Ideals) was off in a desperate race to beat him to the Elite Four. Last he checked, she only needed two more gym badges. He almost felt pity for her – she treated her pokemon so well, it would hurt knowing he'd be the cause of their separation.

But this was not the time to sacrifice the whole for the few. Being dropped off in Nuvema Town, he was surprised to see how few people lived there. Pursing his lips into a thin line, he quickly recognized that he would be noticed as an outsider. The people would instantly realize he was not a local, and any attempts at instigating anything would be stifled. _I should go back; defeat the eighth gym while I'm ahead, then…_ there was nothing he could accomplish here, at any rate. Mandibuzz cawed a farewell to him, before flying off before he could stop her. With a small sigh, he placed his hands on his hips and wondered what he could accomplish in the mean time.

Glancing back at the small town, he left green eyes sweep the terrain trying to find something amiss. A pokemon crying, or a trail of a broken body dragging itself to safety. There was no such sight. Curiosity getting the best of him, he walked down the dirt roads to inspect the place. There were small shops labeled not with names but pictures, and the largest building in the town he recognized as a laboratory. Possibly Miss Juniper's? How much he disappointed him. A woman with so much knowledge and potential, yet she was like Touko. All that promise, and yet no drive to fix the world in anyway. Too busy believing things were fine the way they were.

So much lost potential.

Sighing, he continued to peer around. The whole area felt… oddly familiar. Maybe when initially began doing this, they had stopped here? Well, it didn't really matter – they were here again, familiar territory or not. There was the bell of a store's door opening and closing behind him, a sound he chose to ignore. Humans were going about their daily lives, unknowing they're perspective would soon change drastically. He'd be gone by then, likely beginning his walk to Accumula Town where the nearest Pokemon Center was. Letting his mind delve back into his formulas, he didn't hear the footsteps behind him hesitate, before moving to follow after.

But he did feel two fingers on his shoulder, N's body jolting and tensing from the unexpected physical contact. Sucking in a deep breath to try and calm himself, he turned around to face whoever just tapped him. Behind him was a teenager, a couple years younger than him, wearing a blue jacket and black pants, with short brown hair mostly covered by a white and red cap. He was holding a large bag of groceries, and had a welcoming smile with wide brown eyes crinkling from the expression.

"Hello there! You're new here, aren't you? I don't think I've seen someone like you before. Are you lost?" The young man asked his voice about as welcoming as his smile was. The abrupt friendliness made N feel slightly uncomfortable – people weren't usually pausing in their busy lives to check and see if a newcomer was lost. Looking down at the teen, and then to the side he considered his words carefully.

"Yes, I am new to the area but I would not really specify that I am so much lost as I am enjoying the sights that Nuvema offers I have heard a great many stories about how beautiful the trees can be this time of year." N explained, feeling that was sufficient in answering the brunet and perhaps making him go away. Talking to other humans was not his strong suit. That was why Ghetsis did the speeches and not the king, after all.

"You came all the way here to see the trees?" The brunet asked, blinking in mild surprise. His smile widened. "That's wonderful! You're probably the first visitor in a long time that came here for that. Most people just come to Nuvema to see the professor. Oh! Would you like to get a really good view of the forest? I know the perfect spot!" The young man offered, shifting the bag so he could carry it with one arm before offering his hand.

"That's very kind of you to offer but you seem to be in the middle of carrying what appears to be a heavy bag and I would not wish to-"

"Oh, this? It's a lot lighter than it looks! Besides, I have to drop it off at the lab – and it's the lab's roof with the best view. It's no trouble at all, honest." The boy pressed, interrupting the king and making him frown slightly. Well this kid was certainly pushy – and eager. What was he up to? And the fact the boy didn't appear to have any pokemon on him was unnerving. Wasn't he old enough but cultural standards to go out into the world and become a trainer? Was he not allowed any? Did he lose his? N's typical method of assessing a person was not there, and he felt uncomfortable – exposed, even. "Uhm… am I being too forward? I'm sorry. Just… we really don't get a whole lot of visitors to see the sights… it's kind of a nice change."

Mulling over the idea, N sighed. Well, he supposed he would at least see the inside of the lab. Better to understand your enemy's point of view if you saw what they did every day. By better understanding Juniper, perhaps he could get her to better understand him. "All right." He agreed in resignation. Hearing this, the boy beamed at him and took N's hand without warning. The king cringed at the sudden contact, his muscles tensing further as he was pulled after the brunet. A brunet leading him around, that felt familiar.

But it wasn't the voice. It wasn't the voice. The one that carried his dreams, this one was different.

The lab wasn't very far away, so the walk wasn't long. Relief flooded his body as the hand let go, and yet he felt his fingers trying to grasp at the contact as it ended. _Strange,_ he thought with a frown. He hated yet wanted the contact. Why was he always that way? Torn between wanting and loathing humanity. Setting the bag down on a counter, the brunet waved to one of the scientists there before motioning for N to follow. Rubbing his arm uncomfortably, he nodded to the scientist who was no longer even paying attention to him. Apparently the boy often brought strangers into the lab. _Most people just come to Nuvema to see the professor, _the boy had said. Apparently there was some truth to his words.

Following him up the stairs, they got to the second story. There was a sliding glass door that led to a balcony. Deft fingers opened the glass door, and the brunet motioned for the green-haired male to get outside. Walking from inside the lab to the balcony, N blinked a couple of times to let his eyes adjust to the entire colour. It was autumn, and the tree tops were below, at eye level, and above him in a mixture of golds, reds, and browns. A few green leaves remained, splattering the chilly air with tinges of what used to be summer. Placing his hands on the metal railing, his eyes looked at the sight in front of him.

The trees truly were beautiful. Brilliant and healthy – he expected nothing less of Juniper's backyard. Letting his eyes wander, he spotted a few wild pokemon playing in the branches and on the ground. None of them looked sick or weak, just healthy and free. As it should be. His eyes slid closed, letting the outside air wash over him and the soft breeze whip his bangs around his face. This was… unexpectedly nice. A small break he should not have been taking, actually. Breathing in the air deeply, he tried to hold the scent close to his memories. The castle may have been home, but the smells there were unpleasant and painful. Constant reminders of what needed to be done.

Letting his eyelids rise slowly once again, green orbs moved to the side to see the brunet was leaning on the railing next to him: eyes also closed, a loose smile on his lips. Must have been nice to live a life so easy he could meet and greet every person as though they were an old friend. He envied the ignorant in moments like these. Having enough of the sight (he really needed to head to Opelucid), he peeled himself away from the railing and tried to quietly make his way back inside. Unfortunately, the poor head the movements and snapped out of his trance to look quizzically at him. "Going already?"

"I have somewhere to be and I was merely passing through to look at the trees to see what everyone was talking about now that my curiosity has been sated it stands to reason that it would be time for me to leave and make my appointment on time." N explained simply, not bothering to unnecessarily waste his breath.

"You came all this way just to see the trees real quick?" The brunet asked, tilting his head to the side slightly as he tried to wrap his thoughts around the idea.

"That's not necessarily what I said earlier I mentioned I was enjoying the sights Nuvema had to offer you were the one who simply assumed it was strictly for the trees I have already wrapped up my initial purpose and had been merely passing time until my appointment." N was somewhat impressed, usually by now people would have been exasperated with his speech patterns. This one was, at moments, taking a few extra seconds to figure out what was said, but thus far had not directly complained. Was everyone in Nuvema like this? If so, Ghetsis would have no trouble winning them over with his words and reason.

"Oh… yeah, I guess I was…" The brunet trailed off, appearing somewhat disappointed. N had to confess, it was a bit refreshing to see someone so invested in trees. The average human seemed invested primarily in themselves or on occasion their pokemon. Trees? This was a new obsession. Despite the human's apparent dejection at this news, N merely shrugged it off and headed back towards the stairs. People were bizarre creatures; he doubted he would ever fully understand them.

Walking down the stairs, he moved to the side when a blur of purple raced past him back to the second floor. That had been a pokemon – was it the brunet's? Compulsive habit to inspect every human he interacted with made him peer back upwards to see what kind it was. A liepard, a bit on the old side from the grey slowly beginning to overtake the pink markings. It was handing the brunet a sheet of paper of which he gingerly took from its mouth, unfolding the paper to begin reading over the note. As the human did so, the creature sniffed the air – paused, and tilted its head to the side. Green eyes beginning to cloud over from cataracts swept the floor, its sniffing becoming more intense. Following the scent, the creature reached the top of the stairs and did its best to look right at N.

It must have smelled the pokepuffs he always had with him in times of luring an injured pokemon out. Knowing the protocol for liepards, N extended his hand for it to sniff – something the liepard did softly, pressing its nose so close to his palm that he felt the moisture on its snout. Then, slowly and tentatively, the creature turned its head to rub its cheek against his hand. A low purr rumbled in its throat. As it did so, N softly rubbed his thumb to scratch beneath its chin. The creature's eyes became half-lidded and drowsy, the hazy look only increasing as the liepard became content. Footsteps approached, the brunet staring in mild surprise at the sight.

"That's unusual… Phaeleh doesn't usually like strangers…" The brunet murmured, brows furrowing at the curiosity.

"I have a way with pokemon." N murmured gently, a slight smile on his lips as he watched the creature begin to slightly drool from well-placed scratches. The liepard was magnificent – very healthy, even for its age. "One of Juniper's?" He asked absently.

"Err, no, actually… that's kind of mine?" The brunet frowned a bit at that. "No, actually… well, it's more of… Phaeleh is… more of my mom's." His shoulders slumped. "But Phaeleh likes sticking with me more than my mother."

"Of course. Liepards choose their trainer, the trainer never chooses them. She is very loved. Most liepards I've seen her age are not nearly so healthy so this is something of a pleasant surprise it is a rare day you see one raised by a human in such remarkable shape which is why I presumed she was of Juniper's." N's voice was rushed, filled with warmth.

"You sound like you know a lot about pokemon." The brunet glanced over, and then nodded. "You're a trainer? What's it like?" He squatted down, so that he was on more eye level with the king. Even though he was shorter, at the top of the stairs with N halfway down them he had become artificially taller. The green-haired man cringed at the term, hating the reminder that his friends were in pokeballs. He felt more hypocritical with every pokemon battle he engaged in.

"To a certain extent I am a trainer but not by the mainstream meaning in that I feel it is wrong to travel through the region and subjugate my friends to violent battles in the name of being the 'very best,' and that collecting them like a self-serving hoarder is wrong because what pokemon wants to be captured only to be thrown away into what is the equivalent of a trophy room?" The words were rushed and passionate, ending with N stopping only because he realized that he was ranting to someone who wasn't a trainer. It was silly trying to persuade someone to stop being something they weren't.

The brunet stared at him, before he began laughing. "Okay, okay… you're an atypical trainer. Hahah, you sound a lot like a guy my sister keeps running into." He smiled, and began walking down the stairs and gently patting liepard on the head as he walked past and down the stairs. "Actually, while on that topic… be careful while you're out there, okay? There's this group called Team Plasma, apparently they're supposed to be helping pokemon… but apparently there's a few people dressing up like them, or some deviants… but they're hurting trainers and their pokemon. Be on the lookout." He smiled at N. "You seem like a nice guy. I'd hate for something bad to happen to you or your team."

"They're my friends, not my team." N retorted, a hint of venom to his words. Who was this kid, who thought he knew all about his team? None of them would hurt pokemon. Although… the bit about people **pretending** to be one of his grunts was concerning. That could have been true.

"You can't be on a team if you aren't friends." The brunet replied to him easily, offering a last smile. "I hope to see you next year during autumn. Take care!" And with a wave, he hurried the rest of the way out of the lab, leaving N standing on the stairs utterly dumbfounded by those words. No one had ever said it to him quite like that. The liepard – Phaeleh – softly nuzzled his pants, before rubbing her cheek against the fabric.

"_Little human come back, no longer little and smell little different… but still little human,"_ Phaeleh purred. Her words jostled him from his mind, and he glanced down at her in confusion. She didn't look familiar. Perhaps he had met her as a purrloin?

"I'm sorry, I don't quite recognize you…" N whispered, frowning as he squatted down to look her in the eyes. Old eyes stared at him, and then nuzzled her face into the parts of his ponytail that fell over his shoulder.

"_So long ago, little human much more little… Phaeleh little, too. Little human used to play with Touya, and play with Phaeleh. Good memories. Where did little human go? Why did he leave?"_ She asked, pausing in her affections to look at him with inquisitive eyes. Half-sitting on the stares, eyes wide, N felt his stomach begin to churn and memories that turned to dreams rise back up. He felt hot, the stairway suddenly too small and enclosed for his tastes. Hands were shaky, while the liepard watched him in silent curiosity. Had she said something odd?

"Y-you're… and that was… was that…?" N pointed where the brunet had gone.

"_That was Touya. Like little human, Touya has grown. Like little human, Phaeleh has grown. See?"_ And she stretched out her long body, fur shifting as muscles beneath the skin rippled from her movements. N's mind was racing, his heart pounding as he tried to make sense of all of this. That had been the little boy? "We'll always be friends." Had the brunet forgotten? Or did he have the same problem, of not recognizing the other after all of these years?

Or maybe he did recognize N, and that was why he made such an effort to talk to him.

His mind racing, he stood up and hurried down the stairs. Meowing curiously, Phaeleh followed after him. The two exited the lab, and N whipped his head back and forth trying to spot the brunet. Yes – over there! There was a wild beating in his chest, his lungs constricting in excitement and nerves. Running, he tried to reach the boy with the brown hair all over again. As he neared the other, he could hear a familiar voice booming through Nuvema:

"Pokémon are subject to the selfish commands of Trainers... They get pushed around when they are our 'partners' at work... Can anyone say with confidence that there is no truth in what I'm saying?" That was his father's – or rather, Ghetsis' voice. Words perfectly enunciated, clear and readily understood by the masses. There was a small gathering of Plasma grunts at his side, and a couple of the residents were listening to them with a mixture of agitation and idle nosiness. Standing to the side of the building was the brunet – no, it was Touya, wasn't it? – who was watching the scene. N's footsteps gave his presence away, and the brunet jumped in surprise seeing him. Holding up a finger to his lips, he leaned over to hear better.

Wanting to say a thousand things but unable to gather the courage to do so, N remained quiet and continued to let his stomach do flips. Phaeleh looked between the two, before gently walking over to the brunet and sitting next to him. There was a low growl in the back of her throat when she spotted Ghetsis.

After a few minutes as the speech continued to be delivered, N couldn't take much more. Years. It had been years since… since he had last seen the boy. He had to know – know everything. Were they still friends? Since when did he have a sister? Was she one of the girls they played with? And most importantly: would they still always be friends? "Excuse me, Touya – " N began, the brunet turning to him in surprise hearing his name. Nothing more left his mouth, he wasn't given a chance because suddenly at his side was a Plasma grunt who was looking at her lord in confusion.

"My king, why are you hiding over here? Shouldn't you be with the gro- oh!" Her blue eyes widened noticing one of the locals had been 'hiding' with him. "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't see him there-!"

"King?" Touya repeated, brows furrowing and he looked between the grunt and the green-haired male. That was when Phaeleh began hissing at the female grunt, who held up her arms in a surrender position and stumbled away from the feline.

"Uh, yes, well, that is," N was stumbling over his words, desperation leading to the first time he was at a loss for what to say. No, this was all wrong. This was not how this was supposed to happen!

The brunet glanced between him and then over to the crowd that was starting to look their way at the growing commotion. "…was this your appointment?" His voice sounded… sad. Disappointed. _No no no, this wasn't it at all!_

"Of course! Our lord and king attends every speech the Sage Ghetsis delivers." The female grunt chimed, desperately wanting to help and fix the situation. _No! This is __**not**__ what I meant!_ The moment this brunet grew into the boy he had been chasing after forever, all his carefully planned variables fell to pieces.

"O-oh… I'm sorry, I hadn't realized… I wouldn't have…" The brunet flushed, embarrassed and obviously very, very uncomfortable. "I-I'll leave you alone then." And with that, he hurried past the crowd turning red to the tips of his ears. Phaeleh gave a last hiss to the girl, an apologetic look to N, before bounding after her trainer. All the while, Ghetsis watched with a passive sort of interest.

"…did I interrupt a re-education of a trainer, my lord?" The female grunt asked, watching him leave.

"No… nothing of the sort…" N murmured, shoulders slumping and he let his eyes slowly look down. The way he had always pictured the boy was so terribly, painfully different from how things went. He always imagined he would recognize that voice, the warmth, the tone that called him to his memories so often. The few good ones that helped chase away the nightmares. That fueled his internal fires. That let him imagine a world where humans could no longer hurt pokemon. And it hurt, seeing that the boy had changed so little… that this entire time, it was N who had changed so much.

"Come on, sire. The speech is over… you missed your big moment, but at least we can get you a ride to the Opelucid City. And hey! Just think, I hear we finally have our secret weapon ready! First the eighth gym badge, and then right to Dragonspiral Tower! Aren't you excited? Everything going to come true, soon…!"

"…yes…" N said softly, the fires of truth burning him for the first time in years.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Pokemon, nor have any affiliation with it.

**A/N:** No idea where this is going, if it'll be a one-shot or have more chapters... but this was my attempt at fluff. Aww yeah. Who isn't good at writing it? This chick.


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